Grief and Rainbow Bridge

The Bun Life is a magical adventure. It’s filled with every emotion one might experience at a theme park: excitement and anxiety, joy and confusion, bliss and exhaustion. And despite the fact that your bank account may look drastically different at the end of the day, you know in your heart, it’s worth every penny and you do it all over again the next day. Your bun shaped heart now thumps for your furry friend. 

When you’re new to caring for a bunny you might find yourself taking classes, reading books, and searching online to learn everything you possibly can about a proper bunny diet, bunny bonding, vaccines, housing, playtime, medical topics grooming, and more. You might even find yourself volunteering for a bunny rescue and decorating your home with bunny printed throw pillows, hand towels, and artwork. It’s common to continue burrowing down that rabbit hole as you embrace the bunderful world of buns and one day you're known as the bunny person in your neighborhood or at your job. You’ve been bunified and you have no idea how you ever hopped through life without a bunny companion before. 

Something that is often overlooked is that one day your bunny will die and your life will forever be changed. With an abundance of love, attention, the right nutrition, and medical care, it is known that bunnies can live long lives just like other animal companions, 8-10 years and sometimes even up to 14 years old! But alas, even though your bunny might seem to be a mythical majestic creature at times, (which of course in a way, they absolutely are) they are not in fact immortal, and just like us, their time on Earth is never enough. Even if we do everything “right”, sometimes serious medical issues arise early on or later in their lives, accidents happen and just like humans and other animals, sometimes things are just out of our hands. Even if you have a mighty wizard rabbit that lives to be the age of a wise old bun, you will one day say farewell to your cherished bunny. 

If your bunny was physically with you for a year or over a decade, they undoubtedly touched your heart in a way that will last for the rest of your days and far beyond. It’s a special love, a sacred bond, a cosmic connection that only you two will share and that is yours to keep forever. 

One day, your bunny won’t be loafed in their favorite hidey box. You won’t hear that grandiose thump that you’d always hear after you sneeze, and that fluffy ball of joy won’t suddenly appear at your feet when you open up a crinkled bag in the kitchen. Your routine will change. Your home will feel different. You will likely get an email or text message to remind you to re-order their favorite treats. An acquaintance may casually ask you how your bunny is doing and it may feel like you will shatter into a million pieces on the spot. 

How does one cope?

The grief journey after your bunny transitions is personal and will look different for everyone. Grief isn’t linear and there isn’t a specific timeline as to when the pain will subside. Some people might say that it never goes away. You just learn to live with it. It is possible to grow through the pain and honor your bunny, their memory, and legacy. There isn’t a simple solution or a guaranteed remedy that will make everything better and it may very well be one of the most difficult experiences you will ever go through. The traditional stages of grief absolutely apply even if someone might say, “It’s just a rabbit”, “You’re still sad about that?”, which often is followed by a slight head shake or maybe even a soft chuckle, and the ever so popular and misguided, “Just get another rabbit.” 

The topics of death and grief are sometimes avoided in Western cultures and often the few courtesies that are given are not always extended to our animal companions, let alone our bunnies. Some people might find comfort in their religious or spiritual practices. Others might dive into work, hobbies, or anything to distract from the pain. For some, the seemingly simple act of getting out of bed might be an overwhelmingly difficult task. Whatever your grief journey might look like, it’s important to remember to give yourself grace. It’s what your bunny would want for you. 

You’ll likely experience all of the traditional stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You may float back and forth from a few different stages and you may hop right back to denial after a passing moment of acceptance. It can be maddening. You might be lovingly reflecting back on that silly time your bunny binkied off the couch and a poop soared into the air and the next minute you might find an unexpected fur ball under your bed and just lose it.

Your bunny transitioning from their body will likely be devastating no matter how prepared you might be, but the real tragedy is if all their hard work bestowing their bunny lessons and gifts upon you were to go to waste. Your bunny taught you a lot. That’s what they do. It’s part of their magic. 

In the spirit of celebrating all that you learned from your bunny, consider harnessing the gift of each lesson and incorporate it into your own personal healing. This could also be a way of keeping their memory alive for you and for others who might also be in need of their sacred wisdom. 

Great novels could be written on what bunnies teach us but here are a few widely known teachings in the bunny community that may resonate with you. 

The Importance of Companionship

Caring for a bunny highlights the significance of companionship and the joy that comes from nurturing a relationship. They remind us that time spent with loved ones is invaluable. This could be with human and/or non-human relationships. Seeking out a support group could offer solace through shared experiences. Spending time with various species of animals could also provide additional comfort during this delicate time. 

Empathy and Compassion

Bunnies have the ability to bring softness into our lives. When we form a bond with them, they teach us how to embrace our “inner bunny” which helps us to see ourselves and others through a lens of love. Give yourself grace and fill up your cup with self care practices as a bunny would. When you are ready, consider spreading that love within your community through volunteer work, making a donation in their memory, and/or helping others in need.

Responsibility and Commitment
Being responsible for a delicate and complicated small being takes a great deal of devotion. Being diligent with their schedules and their routines helps them to feel safe and comfortable. In turn, we also thrive and discover the value of a routine in our own lives. You can commit to your daily habits that you created with your bunny. It will just look a little different. Consider watering a tribute plant dedicated to them, feeding wild birds outside when you would normally be preparing their salad, and singing all of the silly songs you made up for them when you are cleaning. If it feels comfortable, maybe write them a letter during your typical bunny snuggle time. 

The Art of Living in the Moment 

If anyone knows how to live in the moment, it’s bunnies. They eat when they are hungry, flop when they are tired, and drink when they are thirsty. It seems simple but many of us humans could benefit from living more like a bunny. They focus on what is important in the present moment. They listen to their bodies and do what brings them joy. Think about making a list of activities that make you smile and use it as a resource when you are really missing your bunny. Things like eating your favorite snack, binge-watching your favorite show, listening to your favorite playlist, art projects dedicated to your bunny, or moving your body could help to lighten the heavier moments of grief. 

Every relationship is different as each soul is unique, so no two people will ever grieve in the same way. Keeping their memory alive can be a bunderful way of honoring them as you heal all while making them exceptionally proud of you. Please take what speaks to you, make it your own, and leave behind the rest just as a bunny would. 

Remember, when you find yourself at Rainbow Bridge, you won’t be alone. You will be surrounded by an enormous amount of love between you and your bunny, magnified by the millions of other humans and animal companions that have hopped down this path before you. It is a club that all bunny lovers will find themselves in at one point. No matter how many times you return to Rainbow Bridge, it’s likely always going to sting a little. You may cry, you may reminisce, and you will be better for it because you will know a love like nothing else. A love that is one of a kind, powerful, life changing, and something that will live in your heart along with all of the lessons your bunny taught you forever. 

*Dedicated to Klaus Angel, The Bunny Boss